An early memory...

My first realisation that people are difficult came on my third birthday.  My big sister went to school and I wanted to be just like her and I really wanted to go to school too.  

It was getting close to my turn and I was very excited, I'd been told I could go to school when I was three also being told I'd be three on my birthday. As it got closer and closer to three, I became more and more excited.  The night before my birthday, I was tucked up in bed and announced I was going to school tomorrow.  My mother had not arranged anything and I was distraught, this is my first memory of real distress and I knew the cause. A broken promise.

She had said I was going to school, I was super excited, been looking forward to this more than my birthday and now I had nothing to look forward to.  Why had no one corrected me, she told me I was going to school when I was three, not when I was 3 and a bit, or three and a half, three! She had done nothing to arrange my school start, and it was not even a week day on my birthday.  Not only that I had nothing to look forward to but the pressure to smile and say thank you and be delighted by all my birthday gifts.  I had to be excited because it is naughty not to show true gratification for a gift and I already knew I was rude as I didn't talk much. 

In later years I discovered my mother had planned for me to start the following September. My mother happily tells her funny story to this day and only recently I have come to the conclusion that my feelings that day were perfectly real and valid. I am not anti-social for not laughing along with her, I have feelings and they are just as valid as any other persons.

I never will understand why the imprecise language of others is a problem with my communication skills. In my world, I was promised a trip to the theme park on my birthday and then denied it at the last moment because no one had bothered to buy the tickets.

I have adapted by being the organiser, pushing for dates and times.  I am advised I am hard work for others and I am adjusting again in my middle age to realise, no date and no time usually means no thanks. Neurotypicals are experts at lying, but those little white lies are not so white when you take the words literally.